Creating Your Love Den
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She is a graduate of the Self Heal School of Herbal Medicine in San Diego, CA. She has also studied extensively with Traditional American Indian Healers and been actively involved in the civil rights and environmental movements. Debora loves to sing and also create collage shrines of recycled and collected items for fun and her own bliss and therapy. Debora is a life long student, constantly updating and educating herself concerning the holistic healing arts and sacred sexuality and the arts.
FIREPOWER
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HEAT I have a nice fireplace, which is a good place to start. Keep the room warm so that you can be comfortable undressing … If you don’t have a fireplace a space heater will suffice and you can turn it off as the two of you heat up. Do not underestimate the power of candles, which can bring warmth to the room. Scented candles work nicely when used sparingly. Glaring overhead lighting is something to be avoided. Soft sensual candlelight, tinted light bulbs and oil lamps add a warm touch. Soft lighting is also more flattering. AROMA The power of scenting your room is not to be underestimated. There are many different effects that can be made by choosing the right fragrance. What kind of atmosphere are you creating? There are wild, earthy scents that can be used if you’re going for a sultry, exotic atmosphere. When tired try using stimulating citrus and pine scents. If it is winter and you have been cooking fish, garlic, or burned the crustinnis, then please air out the room first. Don’t try to cover up odors with heavy perfumes. Open a window and then turn the heat back on and scent your space. Simmering potpourri, incense, aromatherepy diffusers, dried herbs and my personal favorite: flower petals strewn recklessly around the room. Always have fresh flowers and greenery, it will add a vibrant, celebratory feeling to the room. BEDDING When I was younger and courting a man, I would pile blankets, comforters and pillows into a nest in the living room and plop down in the middle, and invite my suitor to join me with a smile, which was fine when everything was fresh and new, but now that I’ve ripened some, I enjoy adding more to my lovemaking experiences and that means I can get pretty creative and have some fun with myself as well as my lover. If you can’t enjoy yourself, how can you expect someone else to relish you? So with this in mind, lets create a wonderfully fun place to indulge our senses. My favored place to make love is by the fire. When I did not have a fireplace or when it is 95 degrees and sweltering I place the flowers and maybe a few candles at my altar of love. Now, to make the perfect love nest you must select where you would prefer to satiate your hungers. If you’re the more cultured type and enjoy refined textiles, indulge yourself in some lovely satin or fine cotton sheets and pillows for your boudoir. As incorrigible as I am, I prefer the wild, back to nature atmosphere. My personal favorites to wallow in are my fluffy sheepskins, tossed on top of my feather bed, with plenty of velvety and silky pillows to prop my lover and myself. A few luxury items can make all the difference in the world. CHOOSING A THEME If you are having difficulty coming up with ideas, try starting with a theme. Many people love the jungle realm. There are many animal skin patterns available in linens and pillows. Consolidate houseplants around your nest. Imagine yourself the African queen. Beguile your partner with the appropriate apparel. Spread some faux animal print rugs around… I can think of a million different themes. To start though I’ll name a few to help get your creative juices flowing. How about the fluffy southern Belle? The naughty stripper? Put on your boots and be a cowgirl, with lariat and spurs.. The exotic gypsy with her jiggling tassels and haunting eyes. There is an endless list but I have to stop somewhere. APPETIZERS Next let’s not forget the food. If you are pressed for time, and would rather hurry through the dinner to give yourself more time for play, then prepare some tidbits to nibble on while and after lovemaking. Prepare delicacies that are light so that you don’t weigh yourself down with a full stomach. Check out our recipe pages on our website for a few ideas to get started. We will be addressing foods and themes in more detail in future articles. Life is hard and we deserve to enjoy it so let’s indulge ourselves from time to time. MUSIC Musical choice is a highly personal one. Choose something that goes with your mood. It can be anything from quiet background baroque to wild rock and roll to thumping rhythmic reggae to what ever your style. I enjoy everything from R& B to tribal drumming and classical. How lucky we are to have the world at our fingertips via the web. If your shy and feel this is a bit contrived for your tastes, tone it down to your liking because the purpose in all of this is to enjoy yourself and your lover. Get going, relax and have a good time. Incorporate your imagination with fantasy, what you like and fun. Life is what you make it, so, make it!! Last year at my birthday party I
decided that I should really loosen up and have the party that I'd always
dreamed of. So this is what I did. I started planning months ahead of time
and put together the wildest private party ever! We filled an old costume trunk with home made wild woman and man "skins". (I cut up jagged pieces of animal print fabric, leather chamois and fake fur. We filled baskets with feathers, sticks, stones, bones and earthy looking jewelry. I turned one bedroom into a dressing room, complete with mirrors, safety pins and accessories for the cave-people costumes. We started decorating two weeks ahead of time. In the living and dining area we stripped out or covered everything that looked modern and put the furniture in the garage. I found some of those mural type posters of nature scenes that were popular in the 70's and covered as many walls as I could. Then we moved in the plants. Even the bar was made to look like an outcropping of rock (bunched tarps and spray paint) I then tossed pillows and cushions in the corners and draped them with animal print fabric and blankets... We made a liquored-up punch and
served it in one of those larger tabletop fountains that resembled a
little waterfall and served it in small wooden cups. We also dressed up
the beer keg to look like a cave bear standing on its hind legs. (Used my
redneck uncle's bear skin rug) The beer spout was the bear's "male
appendage". (Which didn't go over well with my strictly puritan neighbor.
She left the party early.) I lined up all my most percussive CD's into the Stereo and wired the speakers into the living room and patio. I had adulterated the old Twister and other games into Neanderthal versions and pulled those out when things slowed down. By the end of the evening the handful of diehards were playing strip skin poker. It was a real blast! After everyone left my husband and I made love in the patio and then again in the house on the pillows and rug. We made sure to not overindulge in the grog so that we could actually enjoy our friends and then each other! Excerpted from FirePower-Love
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